FAQ's on Domestic Violence

For advocacy, counseling and referral call the National Domestic violence Hotline at 800-799-SAFE (7233). You will reach an advocate who can talk with you about your situation, your safety, and the options available to you.  All conversations with advocates at the National Domestic Violence Hotline are strictly confidential. If you are in immediate danger call 911. What is Domestic Violence? What is Domestic Violence Awareness Month? What is the symbolism behind the Purple Ribbon? How can I help? Useful web sites Domestic Violence Myths and Facts What is Domestic Violence? Domestic violence, also known as battering, is a pattern of behavior where one person tries to control the thoughts, beliefs or actions of a partner, friend or any other person close to them. While the violence may cause injury, it does not have to be physical. Domestic violence also takes the form of emotional, verbal, mental, sexual and economic abuse. (from the Jane Doe web site) Domestic violence is a problem that affects every community across the country. It crosses all races, social and economic backgrounds, cultures, religions and relationship types. Domestic violence is not a private matter, a couples problem, a domestic "squabble" or a "fight." It is not a momentary loss of temper or the abuse of alcohol and drugs. Violence is a choice the abuser makes. Domestic violence is a deliberate pattern of abusive tactics used by one partner in an intimate relationship to obtain and maintain power and control over the other person. Most victims of domestic violence are women. Women are at a "significantly greater" risk of intimate partner violence than men. By conservative estimates, 1.5 million women in the United States are assaulted by their intimate partners every year. (Findings from the National Violence Against Women Survey, National Institute of Justice and Centers Disease Control and Prevention, July 2000). What is Domestic Violence Awareness Month?* In October 1981, the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence (NCADV) sponsored the first Day of Unity. The intent for this day was to connect battered women's’ advocates across the United States who were working to end violence against women and children. The Day of Unity soon became a special week when a range of activities was conducted at local, state, and national levels. The first Domestic Violence Awareness Month (DVAM) was held in October 1987. In conjunction with DVAM that same year, NCADV established the first national toll free hotline. In 1989, the first National Domestic Violence Awareness Month Commemorative Legislation was passed by the United States Congress. Such legislation has passed every year since then that the process was available. The National Day of Unity is celebrated on the first Monday in October and is now designated by Presidential Proclamation. *information courtesy of the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence. What is the symbolism behind the Purple Ribbon?* Although there is no official record, the story of the first use of the color purple by the Battered Women’s Movement has been handed down orally through out the years. It has been told that there was a woman from the Midwest in the 1980’s who had left her abusive relationship, and had worked her way to being the director of a battered women’s program in her community. Her batterer was in jail, but he had been released on a temporary furlough. During his release, he crossed state lines and found her and killed her in her home. The woman’s name was Lisa Bianco, and she was well loved and dearly missed by those who knew her. Her friends and family wanted to remember the life of this beloved woman and chose to wear her favorite color in her honor- the color purple. For years prior to any formal legislation or declaration of Domestic Violence Awareness Month and for as long as anyone at NCADV can remember, domestic violence advocates have raised awareness anyway they could and used the color purple in association with those efforts. As a result of those endeavors,the purple ribbon is now widely recognized as the symbol for domestic violence awareness. *information courtesy of the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence. How can I help? Get involved by volunteering, donate money and/or goods and services, donate a old cell phone, speak out against domestic violence, get your employer involved with programs to prevent domestic violence in the workplace and in the community, vote and inform your elected officials on the need to stop domestic violence (need to know who your elected officials are? see: vote-smart.org). See the below web sites to identify where to volunteer, donate, etc.. Useful web sites: Massachusetts: Jane Doe Inc - www.janedoe.org This statewide organization can help Massachusetts residents locate places to get help, volunteer, donate, etc.. Gloucester Men Against Domestic Abuse www.strongmendontbully.com This orgnaization is an inspiring model on how men can work to stop domestic violence in their communities. National: Employers Against Domestic Violence This is a model program for employers to adopt to prevent domestic violence in the workplace and beyond. www.mintz.com The groups below can help one to find places to get help and where to volunteer, donate, nationally in their home states. National Domestic Violence Hotline www.ndvh.org National Coalition Against Domestic Violence www.ncadv.org National Network to End Domestic Violence www.nnedv.org Myths and Facts About Domestic Violence Myth 1 Domestic violence does not affect many people. Fact Nearly one in three adult women experiences at least one physical assault by a partner during adulthood. (American Psychological Assn., Violence and the Family: Report of the American Psychological Association Presidential Task Force on Violence and the Family, 1996) Myth 2 Battering is only a momentary loss of temper. Facts Battering is the establishment of control and fear in a relationship through violence and other forms of abuse. The batterer uses acts of violence and a series of behaviors, including intimidation, threats, psychological abuse, isolation, etc. to coerce and to control the other person. The violence may not happen often, but it remains as a hidden (and constant) terrorizing factor. (Uniform Crime Reports, Federal Bureau of Investigation, 1990) Two thirds of women physically assaulted by an intimate said they were victimized multiple times by the same partner in a 12-month period. (NVAW Survey, July 2000) Myth 3 Domestic violence only occurs in poor, urban areas. Facts Women of all cultures, races, occupations, income levels, and ages are battered - by husbands, boyfriends, lovers and partners (Surgeon General Antonia Novello, as quoted in Domestic Violence: Battered Women, publication of the Reference Department of the Cambridge Public Library, Cambridge, MA) Approximately one-third of the men counseled (for battering) at Emerge (Perpetrator's Intervention Program) are professional men who are well respected in their jobs and their communities. These have included doctors, psychologists, lawyers, ministers, and business executives. (For Shelter and Beyond, Massachusetts Coalition of Battered Women Service Groups, Boston, MA 1990) Myth 4 Domestic violence is just a push, slap or punch - it does not produce serious injuries. Facts More than one third of all rapes and physical assaults committed against women by intimates results in injury in which women receive some medical care. (NVAW Survey, July 2000) Most research reports that violence against women escalates during pregnancy. One study found that 37 percent of obstetric patients were physically abused during pregnancy. (A. Helton, "Battering during pregnancy," American Journal of Nursing , August 1986.) Each year, medical expenses from domestic violence total at least $3 to $5 billion (Domestic Violence for Health Care Providers, 3rd Edition, Colorado Domestic Violence Coalition, 1991.) For more Domestic Violence myths and facts see Jane Doe’s web site: www.janedoe.org/know.htm